Thoughts of the Dead and Waking
by Bookdancer
Summary: Alex goes on a mission and doesn't come back. After Scorpia Rising, but Alex stayed with MI6. Different character's thoughts. It will include the dead and living. Thoughts so far: Alex, Ben, Wolf, and Mrs. Jones
1. Always By Your Side

**Okay, so I started thinking this last night and had to write it down. Unfortunately, I was just about to go to bed, so I wasn't able to publish this as soon as I wanted to. **

**Basically, Alex goes on a mission, and doesn't come back. Scorpia Rising did happen, but Alex stayed with MI6.**

**I do not own Alex Rider.**

Always By Your Side

I'm sorry I couldn't stay,

but I had to fight,

for that's what was right.

I know you understand,

at least, I hope you do.

'Cause you know I'm a spy,

and it's what we do.

Every waking moment,

whenever I would need you

you would be there,

for me and for you.

I'm thankful for that, Ben,

and I know you are too,

but Ben you need to understand,

I'm a spy and it's what we do.

I wish I could have said goodbye,

but it just wasn't meant to be,

not for you, and especially not for me.

Now as I stand here looking down,

watching as you cry,

know I'll always be there with you,

always by your side.

**Thanks for reading! And should I do a series of these poems? From different people's point of view? Like, I could do Ben, Mrs. Jones, Mr. Blunt, Smithers, Tom, even Yassen, Ian, Jack, and Alex's parents. Please tell me what you think. If I do continue, I'll change the title to _Thoughts of the Dead and Waking_. Please review!**


	2. Alex, Why'd You Go?

Thoughts of the Dead and Waking

**Hey everybody! Guess what? I've got good and bad news. Here it is:**

**Good news, I'll be continuing this fanfic!**

**Bad news (at least for those of you reading ESC), I'm not sure when I'll be able to update ESC. I'm kinda losing inspiration. And I know what you're saying. 'Already? But you've only posted one chapter!' And I know. I'm really kind of upset about it. I'm going to try and update soon, and get that inspiration back, but I'm not sure. It's just that only two people reviewed after I worked so hard (in what, three weeks?), and I've gotten really good ideas for other fanfics that I want to do, and, yeah...**

**Anyway, on to this. Yes, I'll be continuing this. The new name is 'Thoughts of the Dead and Waking'. Like it?**

**I do not own Alex Rider.**

**This one is Ben's. Also, it is a _brotherly_ love, not a guy/guy love. It's a bromance, not a romance. I mean, I guess you could see it otherwise, but I wrote this as a brotherly love.**

Alex, Why'd You Go?

Alex, why'd you go?

Alex, why'd you leave me?

Alex, why'd you have to fight that foe?

Alex, why couldn't you see,

just how much you mean to me?

Tears are streaming down my face,

and I know I'll never forget this taste,

this taste of you and me.

Life seems so complicated,

now that you are gone.

Death seems so simple,

like the lyrics to a song.

So maybe now I'll sing,

with tears streaming down.

Alex, why'd you go?

Alex, why'd you leave me?

Alex, why'd you have to fight that foe?

Alex, why couldn't you see,

what this would do to me?

Life no longer seems worth living,

but I know I'll have to keep on trying.

Because I know you're still there,

my little star shining down on me.

My little star, shining brightly.

My little star, how I wish I could be

just how fabulous you were to me.

So maybe now I'll ask a question,

Alex, why'd you go?

**Okay, and that's it. I'll try and get the next poem up soon, but I can't promise anything. Please review!**


	3. I Wish for You

Thoughts of the Dead and Waking

**I'm so sorry I took so long updating! Actually, I'm not sure how long I took... I just know that it took me awhile. Anyway, this is going to be Wolf's turn to share his emotions.**

**To:**

**everyone who reviewed- Thank you so much! You all make my day/week/month when you review.**

**Albany- I'm kind of answering your review from the first chapter, but I have written an Alex Rider/Hardy Boys crossover. *smiles* It does have a happy ending.**

**I do not own Alex Rider.**

I Wish for You

Alex.

They say that is your name.

I am sorry, Alex.

I am sorry for how I treated you.

I am sorry for abandoning you.

Alex, sometimes I wish for things.

I wish for a new car,

or maybe praise from the sergeant.

But most of all, I wish for you.

Yes, Alex, I wish for you.

I wish for your laughter,

even if I only heard it once...

or maybe it was twice.

I wish for your cheeky smile,

the one you show when

you've done something genius.

I even wish for your foot.

You know, the one you used

to kick me out of the plane.

I never thanked you for that, did I?

Alex, I wish for you.

I wish for Cub.

I wish for my unitmate.

I wish for Alex.

**Sooooo... what'd you think? I don't really like it as much as Alex or Ben's, but I guess it'll have to do. *shrug***

**Anyway, Jack'll probably be up next.**

**Hope you liked it, and please review!**


	4. To Be Here

**Hey, so this is the next poem for Thoughts of the Dead and Waking! Whoohoo! I'm actually updating! And I'm sorry to say it's just because I decided to update all of my current fics on my first anniversary of getting my FF account. Sorry! However, I will try to continue updating (although it'll probably take a while). Anyway, to:**

** Albany and Owltalon- Thanks so much for reviewing! You guys are the only ones who reviewed and so, because of that (and the fact that you both are becoming regulars to all of my stories- at least the AR ones), this chapter/poem is dedicated to you two. Hope you enjoy.**

**Albany- Yeah, me, too. Believe me, I'm starting to write more happy endings. Just, ya know... not in the Alex Rider fandom. I've kind of moved on from this fandom and I'm really only sticking around for the fics I already have up. But if you want to look in my profile and see if there's any other fandoms I've written for that you enjoy, don't hesitate to check them out! I promise, not all of my stories include death. I even brought someone back from the dead once! :P**

**Owltalon- Thanks! And also thanks for reviewing practically all of my fics. :) I'm pretty sure you would review all of them if you liked the fandom they were in.**

**I do not own Alex Rider.**

**Oh yeah, and this is Mrs. Jones. Enjoy!**

To Be Here

For me to be here is just plain cruel,

As I look at your file and cry,

I feel anger fill me like fuel

As I think about how you died.

#

I sent you on that mission

With no regards to safety,

There was no back up cushion,

Just an unforgiving ocean.

#

Smithers says I need to calm down,

But he doesn't understand:

I need you here beside me,

Not in heaven up above me.

#

I do hope you'll forgive me,

Although it doesn't matter if you don't,

I know you never liked me-

And that's a statement, not a quote.

#

So Alex do your best,

And know I really cared.

I guess maybe you're kinda happy,

You know, up there.

**So what'd you guys think? I know it's not my best, but I definitely think it's better than Wolf's (sorry, Wolf!). Please review!**


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